Your Reminder To Keep Going - By Mehdi (Tate) Taitambou
I don't really know how to start this. How do people write about themselves? Am I going to come off as someone full of himself?
Will I be judged? Hated? Loved? But you know what, I'm just going to start. Maybe someone needs to hear this.
Like many of you, I have worn many hats, made many mistakes, loved, hurt, feared, and found joy in my darkest hours.
It wasn't until my life depended on it that I devoted myself to a lifetime of learning about the human experience and just becoming the best version of myself I could be.
I knew this would help me save myself from all the detrimental programming instilled in me all my life. One can even say that I was saving myself from me.
As you read through this, I urge you to ask questions.
Observe, acknowledge and ask yourself the right questions because they may give you the answers you seek or didn't know you were seeking.
Let's start in the beginning. I was born in Marrakesh, Morocco. As I entered this world, the doctor that had pulled me from the womb, pulled me out from my left arm instead of my head and caused nerve damage.
The doctors were unsure if I would ever use it again. As I use it to type this, I reflect on the many months I had to cry myself to sleep as a little boy. My grandma would tell me stories about my therapy sessions and how my physical therapist bought an actual house with the money she was paid.
Apparently, her traditional method of using a toothbrush was so peculiar that all the doctors my parents took me to around the world were left mesmerized. I guess my passion for helping others goes back to when I was born. The chances of a Moroccan female physical therapist buying a house from one client's therapy sessions were improbable.
However, this client was like none she ever had. He was someone who enjoyed most of his days in the Kasbah of Tamadot. The Kasbah was his perfect getaway where he would sit by the koi ponds and feed the fish while feeling the breeze of fresh air of the Atlas Mountains.
There was a specific time every day when the orange blossom trees would cast their scent all over the gardens of the Kasbah and would make it especially perfect for an afternoon picnic.
This was where his dreams came to life, and he roamed fearlessly like a little prince in the acres of flowers and trees until it was time for supper.
A 30-room Kasbah was no ordinary place for a child to grow up in. It was eventually sold to Richard Branson and is now one of his retreats.
My family then moved next door to the king of Saudi Arabia. Hermès lived two houses down.
Growing up, I was living in one of the golden triangles of my country and had no idea. We frequently travelled back and forth from the U.S. We somewhat had a second home in Carmel By the Sea, California, rented villas in Hawaii with our private beaches, and we never really saw money as an issue.
I did not pay much attention to it and saw the world from a trustworthy, naïve perspective. In fact, I thought most people lived similar lives where money was not an issue.
The first time I saw someone sleeping on the street, I felt for them. So much so, that each night I couldn't sleep until I visualized a world where they would be okay.
I could not grasp the idea of someone sleeping alone in the dark, being cold, lonely, and with no family to help, or anyone else for that matter.
Fast forward a few years, I did not know I would be experiencing the same thing.
When I was 17, I decided to move to the U.S. to experience the world and make a name for myself. My parents sponsored my first few years, until I let it go and wasn't sponsored anymore.
There came the point where I did not own anything but my name, a suitcase and my life goal of getting a university degree (which took me 10 years to get). I experienced what it was like to sleep in the streets with two of the kindest, most genuine people I have met.
Lived in an uninhabitable room and woke up to cockroaches crawling under my shirt (hearing them drop to the floor from the ceiling while having a plastic bag as a window).
Experienced gun threats, and violence, survived on $3 a day (Ramen and expired toast) and the Boston Marathon bombing (a few feet away).
The world chewed me up and spat me out with GAD, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, PTSD, Pure-OCD, impulsive thoughts, self-loathing, suicidal thoughts, no sense of self, no will, no faith, no hope.
Family was too busy healing through its own trauma for me to add to it from thousands of miles away. I needed help, but did not know how or from whom to get it, especially when I couldn't even afford rent.
I was left with two choices, leave, or leave something behind.
I decided to face it.
So that one night.... I sat in a dark room and told myself I would either walk out of there or stay in. I closed my eyes, cold sweats, my heart beating out of my chest, I said to myself, "If you are going to end me, do it now, if not, let me help at least 1 person before you do".
Everything stopped... Then it clicked... I always wanted to help other people in life. I want to help other people.
Put your faith in God, the universe, or any entity you believe in and make sure you do the hard work while the rest is taken care of.
I left when I was 17. I am 28 years of age today; I moved to the North of Sweden, where I live with my loving, supportive girlfriend.
I run an advertising agency called Nord Advertising, and I love what I do.
I also have a wellness/personal growth YouTube channel where I am journaling my life and hoping one day I can look back and see my progress.
I heard somewhere that when we die, we don't take anything with us but leave something behind.
So if there is anything you take away from this, help others when you can.
And that one person out there reading this who is not sure what to do with his or her life, sit with yourself.
Turn off your phone, get off LinkedIn, TikTok, and Instagram, shut it all off. Sit down, ask yourself, what it is you want... and WHY?
I don't know what you've been through or experienced, but I know that you are reading this for a reason.
I will leave you with one of the things that helped me perform a mini audit to my life.
I call it Triple A (AAA). I used it to get honest with myself and see the situation I was in for what it was so that I could figure out how to change it.
This can even be applied to past trauma and/or events that changed the way you live your life.
Triple A Strategy
Look back at the moment you went through something that changed you.
Ask yourself: Am I aware of what happened, free of all emotions and programming? Sometimes we don't realize our situation's seriousness until we revisit it.
Take your time while you revisit it and visualize yourself sitting in a movie theatre and the event happening on screen.
Do not keep pointing fingers and blaming. Just observe. Don't react, just respond.
Do not get stuck in the blame game because it will only keep you away from what you actually need to feel.
Realize that you have gone through something that is not healthy in any way, shape or form.
What the other person has done to you is disgusting, and it is something they did because of the mismanagement of their mental faculties and perception of the world, NOT yours.
Be very careful not to blame them. You were merely a victim at the time.
Yes, you were once a victim, but not anymore. Not today. Today you are standing up for yourself. What happened to you in the past does not define who you are today, but it did happen, so acknowledge it.
You need to accept what was to make room for what will be.
I cannot stress this enough. You need to accept that things were not really what you had expected.
You will not be able to let go fully if you do not accept what happened and put it to rest.
This will pave the way for your improvement and, ultimately, your healing.
If you made it this far, I hope it has helped in some form.
Remember: bad times pave the way for the good. There's beauty in it all. And that's life, an ugly magnificence.